When Joe jumped into the water he stayed under water for 5 seconds, he got out of the water and as he stared into the water it began to turn green. People started turning green the whole place started turning green and he was freaking out! He got out of the water and he stared at everyone and thought, why are there so many weirdos everywhere what’s happening to everyone and everything? He ran outside and everything was the same but the weirdos pulled him back. Joe ran and they all yelled stop running! He didn’t listen and he fell in the pool and drowned.
Goal: My goal was to make my story mostly a narrative and use punctuation more often.